Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
