Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
