Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
