We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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