don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
