The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize