there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
