just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
