You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
