just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
