wanna go halves on a baby?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
