Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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