Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
