There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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