You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just made my gag reflex go away.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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