How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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