you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
