my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We have started to decorate penises.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
