He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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