ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
