He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
