I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
