I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
