I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize