Porn is love you can see.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
