You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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