Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You are the jesus of drinking
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
