Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
