they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
