Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
