You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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