I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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