All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Everclear isn't food dammit
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