i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize