Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
