I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
