she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
