youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
