Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize