I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
bring money and cleavage
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
