dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
