Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
