Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
