One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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