it wasn't lemon gatorade
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize