so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
