Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
