I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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