Joe is yelling at the trees again.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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