i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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