windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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