my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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