How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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