Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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