awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
