i jhust puked up my retainher.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
