so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
