i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
