pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
