return my video game
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
